What are you Avoiding?

Carly Quinn

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So, here we all sit on a Sunday night, staring at our screens. My avoiding must be done for today because I see words appearing underneath a picture of a woman with more sense than me.

On any given day these are the things I am avoiding, not in any particular order, just the way they showed up in my head for the more psychologically inclined of you.

  • writing
  • housework
  • exercise
  • thinking about money
  • paying bills
  • Christmas
  • looking stupid
  • laundry
  • conversation with my kids
  • living in the moment
  • disconnected sex
  • cat litter boxes
  • the Principal
  • sadness
  • shopping

I won’t say it’s a definitive list but I’m starting to feel hungry, a sure sign I’m getting uncomfortable with our level of intimacy. I’ve never sat in front of my computer, watching Hell’s Kitchen and thought to myself (a woman who abhors cooking, and thinks Gordon Ramsey is a bit of an arrogant asshole) Self, what are you avoiding?

This fascinating article came across the screen of my phone this week.

The Face Everything Technique: Why Avoiding Difficulties Doesn’t Work

I’ll wait here while you read it. It’s truly, very worth the effort.

Oh, you’re back! See, now don’t you feel better, he called you amazing in the first sentence! Amazing, I tell you, yes, at avoiding things but still…, right?

What struck me is how well he knew me, I think I’ve tried all of those things just to be able to forget what needed to be done. Everyday this week I’ve sat down at the computer and booted up a news site or mindlessly started watching T.V. shows I don’t care about, stopped for a moment, looked around, and thought, what am I avoiding.

More often than not, I’m avoiding expending energy. I’m tired and I want to be entertained. However, a few times this week I’ve caught myself avoiding something else entirely and it’s left me thinking.

Friday night I sat down at my computer and flipped on a show, then I thought, What am I avoiding? The nerve-racking part, I answered myself, You’re putting off the re-branding of your novel so you don’t have to face more dismal sales in another category.

 

Funny business woman looking surprised or astonished

Well, self, that hurt a little. Ouch. It’s also astoundingly accurate. Now what?

I went back to the article, looking for instructions on how to feel better about myself. Instead I found that, oops, I skipped number one, oh well. Okay, number two, check, I asked the blasted question. Here we go, number three, Now face it. Crap. Is number four any better? Take Appropriate Action. Well, shit, that sucks.

I’ll just skip to the best part, after I realized how much that little exercise sucked.

I rewrote the preface of my novel, tweaked it here and there to better suit the humorous, life-like tone of the rest of the book. Much more needs to be done, but damn it, after almost a month of avoiding starting the task, I’m on my way.

39 Comments

  1. You rewrote the preface and that’s a wonderful start. I avoid all the things you listed above (i.e. housework) so I should really be doing it the other way around. Hang in there! Rebranding is hard but you’ll get it done ❤

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  5. This is motivational! I get stuck in these ruts at time and it such a contrast to being “in the zone”. Sometimes you just have to press forward build some mojo…which you are clearly doing! 😀

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              1. Trust me, you have already taken care of the “straightening up” tonight. 😉 I often wonder about your bent… I know how you like to write but wondered if that was more about your audience or your own erotic desires. I’ve wondered if you secretly fantasize about the submissive side as well. I enjoy both ways or a blending of the two. Okay…nicely. Pretty please, with whipped cream, strawberries, and a banana on top? 😀

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  6. I’m avoiding reading an article about avoidance.

    Seriously, I’m avoiding writing about Love, Love, Love, rewriting my resume, and addressing my frustrations with the dirty floors.

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    1. Haha….It caught me, in the article when I read the bit about spending my life running away instead of living, because isn’t that what avoiding is? I really had to think hard on that one, there are definitely some things I just don’t want to face.

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      1. And now on top of everything else I feel guilty about, I feel guilty about having become avoidant. 🙂

        There are absolutely some things I don’t want to face (and have just decided that I’ll live with whatever the consequences of that are). I have only so much energy …

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